


All Falls Down

by ArcaneDesires



Category: Life Is Strange 2 (Video Game)
Genre: 'To the end and shit man' never lasts, Angst, Break Up, Broken Hearts, Even the best sandcastles eventually collapse., Fean - Freeform, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Love turns into fighting, M/M, Nothing lasts forever..., Sad, Sad Ending, Sean and Finn no longer remember how to love each other, Tears, breaking up, sinn, this is not the fluff you are looking for, turns in bittersweet break ups, turns into resentment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-23 23:41:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19161382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcaneDesires/pseuds/ArcaneDesires
Summary: “F-Finn, I...” He tries to speak, but the words just won't come, clogged up behind the lump in his throat. He doesn't actually want to say them if he's honest. Knows he has to anyway.“I know sweetie, I know.”The tone of his voice almost destroys Sean again and when he looks up, the smile on Finn's face, if it can even be called that, is so heartbreakingly empty, he's sure he's drowning once more.“I guess this has been a long time coming huh?” He finally spits the words out in a slight rush. Finn laughs. The sound is devoid of any real humour. He moves his hand from Sean's knee, leaving it feel suddenly frozen and wrong and yet bringing with it a strange sense of freedom.“Yeah sweetheart, I guess it has.”They lapse into silence again. It's painful, but not exactly awkward. He raises the cig to his lips and takes another deep drag. When he pulls it away, tattooed fingers pluck it from his grasp and Finn inhales a lungful before passing it back.





	All Falls Down

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so ummm do NOT blame me for this one. Please?! Someone (you know who you are!) over on the Fean discord put up a challenge to write some bittersweet break up Fean fiction. I AM the resident Angst Queen *I think?* so who was I to resist?! 
> 
> To anyone else reading this, I am sorry for what this story will contain, I cried, so if you do too, blame the one who made me want to write this. (Kidding, I love ya Kiss <3 but also OW! ok?)
> 
> Don't shoot the messenger and all that! I will write the most sickeningly sweet fluff to erase the memory of this fic when I wake up later. My poor boys!

Taking a deep breath, Sean shifts again. The bed sheets itch despite their softness. The gentle breaths of the body beside him, makes a vague irritation burn through his veins. The faint light through the window stings his eyes. The subtle shifting of their clothing is like the scratching of nails down a chalk board.  
  
He's not sure how it got to this point, how they ended up this way. How they got so far away from each other. It feels like they're literally falling apart. Like **he's** falling apart.   
  
It hurts every time he even looks at Finn and he can see that same look in the other's eyes. He knows they're on different sides of the bridge, but neither of them knows how to cross it any more, or if they even want to.  
  
Sean sits up, swings his legs over the edge of the bed and rakes his hands through his hair. It's getting long again, he knows he should cut it. Or ask Finn to do it, but... He just can't bring himself to re-live that moment. Everything hurts so fucking much!  
  
Feeling the breath almost literally catch in his throat, he stands up. He can feel the bed bounce slightly with his movement, but he can't bring himself to care right now. He just needs out of there, to take a second to himself.   
  
He stumbles through their small beach house, grabs a packet of cigarettes off the living room table and moves outside. Tugging a smoke from the pack, he laughs almost hysterically at the realisation. These aren't even his. They're Finn's, because of fucking course they are.  
  
The idea of it chokes him again and he sparks it up with a heavy sigh. The smoke curls up into the sky, sinks into his lungs and he grips the railing hard with his free hand. Knuckles white from the grip, he can feel the beginning of tears pricking his eyes.   
  
He manages to hold it back until the sound of the sliding door opening and shutting behind him, reaches his ears. There's a hand on his back, work roughened and still gentle as fuck. A touch he knows almost better than he knows his own skin, and yet it's been a while since he felt it. Too long...

“Hey sweetie.”  
  
Fuck, it hurts so much to hear those words delivered in that soft voice. What he wouldn't give for this to be a good thing. They both know it's not though. He turns his head, takes another puff of his cig and blinks over at Finn.

His heart stutters in his chest, stomach tightening with anxiety. It clenches to the point that he feels faint and a little nauseated.   
  
There's heavy dark circles beneath Finn's eyes, a endless sadness that seems too deep to swim up out of, inside of them. It's too much. The tears stream down his face. He sinks down onto the porch, knees pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped around them.   
  
The feeling of warmth blossoms across one knee, a reminder of a life that feels so long ago now. He reaches out for it, grips Finn's hand tight in his own and squeezes. It doesn't fix anything and he's not sure he knows how he'll eventually let go, but somewhere in his heart, he knows he'll have to. Needs to.  
  
Finn doesn't speak, just lets him cry it out. Let's him sob until there's no more tears left to shed, until he hiccups with every breath, until he's dizzy with the knowledge that this is it. The time for talking it through and fixing it passed them by ages ago. That point isn't even in the rear view mirror any more. There's no getting it back, no matter how hard he tries. If he even wants to.  
  
“F-Finn, I...” He tries to speak, but the words just won't come, clogged up behind the lump in his throat. He doesn't actually want to say them if he's honest. Knows he has to anyway.  
  
“I know sweetie, I know.”   
  
The tone of his voice almost destroys Sean again and when he looks up, the smile on Finn's face, if it can even be called that, is so heartbreakingly empty, he's sure he's drowning once more.  
  
“I guess this has been a long time coming huh?” He finally spits the words out in a slight rush. Finn laughs. The sound is devoid of any real humour. He moves his hand from Sean's knee, leaving it feel suddenly frozen and wrong and yet bringing with it a strange sense of freedom.  
  
“Yeah sweetheart, I guess it has.”  
  
They lapse into silence again. It's painful, but not exactly awkward. He raises the cig to his lips and takes another deep drag. When he pulls it away, tattooed fingers pluck it from his grasp and Finn inhales a lungful before passing it back.  
  
They continue that way for a while, until there's nothing left to do but throw it away, start all over again. That thought makes Sean hunch over tighter. It's sort of like them he supposes. It's time to let it go. He doesn't want to, but he knows they both need to. That they need this more than they need each other now.  
  
“It's OK sweetie. I know. I'm sorry, I thought we could fix this, I really did.”  
  
Sean snorts. He's not amused though. Just lost. “I thought... fuck I thought we could too. I thought we'd be here forever. You, me and Daniel.”  
  
“And the dog,” Finn adds with a dry chuckle.  
  
“What dog?” He glances quickly up at him, confused beyond reason.  
  
“The dog Daniel would have eventually convinced us to get.”  
  
He speaks it as though it's a certainty. It kind of is, now that he thinks about it. Daniel would definitely have worn them down eventually.   
  
“Yeah,” he replies with a nod.  
  
Finn shifts, slides down the wall beside him and mimics his position. His arms are held a little looser, body not quite as tightly coiled, yet his usual slouch is missing and that hurts more than Sean can currently voice. To know he's put that there, caused Finn to be this way...   
  
But they've spent so long going round and around in circles, fighting when Daniel's asleep just so he doesn't hear it any longer, that this is the inevitable conclusion. He knew it was coming, he'd just had hope there was time, some way to drift back into the driving lane and get off the hard shoulder.   
  
That was never meant to be though, obviously.  
  
“I don't wanna go Sean. I don't, but we just keep making each other miserable. Everything I do irritates you...”  
  
“No, Finn, that's not... true.” He tries to interrupt, but the words fail him.  
  
“Bullshit darling. I tell Daniel yes to something and ya get pissed. I don't pick up after myself, ya get pissed. I see the way ya grind your teeth whenever I talk and wave my hands around. You used to find that cute ya know.”  
  
Apparently there are tears still left to cry, because they fall again in a new rush, obliterating the tracks of his previous tears and creating new paths. It's almost cathartic in a way.   
  
“I know. I did. I do... I thought I did. Fuck Finn, how did we get to the point of hating all those things we used to love about each other?”  
  
He doesn't actually expect a real answer, just curls around himself again, shivering in the strangely cool night air. But he gets one anyway and it both makes sense and hurts like hell at the same time.   
  
“Sometimes that's just how it goes sweetie. You go from finding the way someone whistles through their teeth cute as hell, to being super fucking irritated by it. The passage of time, the fact that you two are safe now, things are different now. We're all different. Things were bound to change eventually.”  
  
“I just wish they didn't. I wish I could take it all back, go back to when things were OK. To when all I could think about was you fucking me up against the wall. I kinda miss those days.”  
  
“Yeah, me too Sean. Fuck, me too. But this is where we are now. Gotta roll with it ya know?”  
  
“Fuck that!” Sean says in answer, angry at the entire world for a second, instead of just Finn.   
Because of all the things that have changed, all the ways in which he's grown, losing people he fucking cares about, **again** , is still the single shittiest thing he's ever known. He's fucking tired of it all.  
  
“Life and death, dangerous situations, they just create these like... super intense moments and feelings ya know?” Finn's own words, his very breath hitches and he lights another cigarette before he continues. “Love and all that shit is easy to form in those moments, but when they finally fade away for good, the feelings can fade too. It breeds... Fuck what's the word I'm looking for?”  
  
Finn turns to him, blue eyes glistening with his own tears and Sean has to fight not to just throw himself at him, because it will just hurt them both worse. Because those moments are gone and he knows it. When you spend more time avoiding each other, more time fighting than fucking, more time annoyed by the mannerisms you used to find cute, it's easy to know that the storybook ending is over.   
  
Hugs and kisses aren't going to fix this and they won't bring those feelings back either. Won't help him let go or say goodbye.  
  
“Uh fuck man, I dunno. You're the philosopher here. Like... fake love or some shit? I dunno what are you trying to say?”  
  
The cigarette is passed to him, he places it between his lips and can't help but think, this is probably the closest they'll ever come to kissing again. He hands it back and shrugs, flinching when Finn's cheeks glisten with fresh tear tracks.  
  
“Nah man, starts with a C. Uh... hang on!” Finn clutches his head with one hand, while the other flails about as though that will suddenly help him remember what he was trying to say. Sean realises with a sigh, that he really did used to find that so fucking endearing, now he just feels mildly amused. Well that and maybe a tiny bit annoyed by it too.   
  
“Contempt! Fuck, there we go. Yeah so like... Shit, what were we saying again?”  
  
This time Sean does laugh. It's real and he's actually cheered by Finn's train of thought being derailed, but he still has to choke the laughter out through another rush of tears. Because he really did used to love things like that about the other male.   
  
“Um, a stupidly long excuse for us not to say goodbye?”  
  
“Right, yeah. That's it.” Finn's head sinks down to his chest and the cigarette burns away, forgotten between his fingers. “I guess sometimes the feelings that come from those moments just can't last forever. Sometimes they turn into dislike just as easily.”  
  
It's not lost on him that Finn doesn't actually say hate there. That kinda aches too.  
  
Sean shivers and buries his face in his hands. Because they might bicker and bitch at each other almost all the time now, but fuck, he never actually thought he'd have to say goodbye to Finn. That it would be this hard to do it, especially considering how wrong things have been between them, how long it's been that way.  
  
“So this is really the end then? We're really not even gonna try and fix it?” The knowledge of that one simple fact is crushing and he can feel the weight of it resting heavily upon him.   
  
“Baby, we've been trying to fix this for the past five months or so. There's not enough pieces to put back together any more.”  
  
The look Finn shoots him leaves a small part of him dead inside. He's not sure it will ever recover. But that's kind of OK in a way. At least he'll know that for a while this was real, he had something that he lived for. Even if it didn't last, at least he got to experience it.   
  
He wants to reply straight away, but he's stuck on that word for a moment, the one he hasn't heard in over 8 months now. He both wants to hold onto it forever to remember it and finds it sets some part of him on edge at the same time.   
  
Which seems how to be how their life goes now a days. “Guess you can't glue fragments of dust back into a functional object, huh?”  
  
“Nah my little Sean. It's too far gone. We gotta go with it now. We spent so long not wanting to fix it, that by the time we realised we actually kinda did...” Finn speaks, but he fades off at the end, a small shudder travelling down his spine.  
  
“It was too late to pick up the pieces,” Sean finishes for him.  
  
“Exactly. Shit happens and sometimes we just gotta accept that we can't change it.” Finn flicks the now finished cigarette away.  
  
Sean feels a brief moment of irritation at an action he's grown to despise and then Finn smiles at him, soft and bittersweet. He can't help but return it, knowing he looks like he's about to cry again, because honestly, he is.   
  
“It's gonna be OK sweetie. We tried. Even if it wasn't forever, I got to have all of this. I had a home, I had you, I had Daniel. It's more than I ever thought I'd get and it was worth it. **You** were worth it..” He shakes his head as if to clear it and then continues. “I would have followed you anywhere ya know. But we just can't make it work any more and we've both gotta recognize that.”  
  
That fractures his heart all over again, because he might not feel that overwhelming love and passion for this man any longer, but he does care about him. They've been through way too much for him not to, spent too long together, to just throw it all away and not give a shit at all.   
  
Finn stands up, holds out a hand to help him up. He doesn't bring up the fact that Sean's face crumples at the action even while he reaches up and grabs his hand. He's grateful for that.   
  
Letting the older male pull him up, Sean sighs and takes a shaking step back towards their house. His and Daniel's house now he guesses.   
  
“Finn, I... I'm fucking sorry. I really am. I really thought we could do... this. For good.”  
  
“Me too Sean. Me too.”  
  
He can't deny, he's gonna miss those endearments. But then that's the crux of the matter he supposes. He's more in love with the memory of their time together, than he is with the man standing before him. It hurts like hell, but this is better for both of them.   
  
Holding onto something they lost somewhere along the way, is just going to end badly and he's tired of pretending. He knows they both are.   
  
They make their way back to the bedroom and Sean wonders for a second what's going to happen now, before it all becomes clear. Finn's already throwing things as quietly as he can into a duffel bag. Right, best to get a clean break, for all of them. But when Daniel wakes up tomorrow morning and finds Finn gone...  
  
Sean isn't sure how he's going to explain this to him. Of course, right as he thinks that, the sound of a door opens and his brother stumbles out, rubbing sleepily at his eyes.   
  
Everything stops. Finn's got a pile of clothes in his hand, half way through stuffing them in the bag, staring wide eyed at a stunned looking Daniel. Sean can feel both his heart and his stomach sinking ever lower. Shit, shit, shit! Not now, not fucking now, please! He can't do this with both of them right now!   
  
“Daniel...” He murmurs, moving to close the bedroom door so he can try to redirect his brother away from Finn.

“What... Why is Finn packing his stuff?! What did you... What did you do Sean?!” Daniel's hair is already starting to stand upright as if caught in an invisible wind.   
  
Except, it's not invisible, he can see particles of sand starting to swirl here and there. Sean can actually feel it prickling against his skin as well, raising goose bumps on his flesh and fuck, no! Not fucking now!  
  
“It's not all my fucking fault enano!” It's kind of funny calling him that considering how much he's grown in the last 4 years. He's still shorter than him though. For now.   
  
But of course it **is** his fault. Isn't it fucking always?! That's just another piece of this fucked up puzzle. He's always wrong and Finn is the guardian angel. He hates that he feels that way, but it is how it always goes.  
  
“Daniel! Sweetie, it's OK.”

And there's Finn. He sweeps Daniel into a tight hold and Sean just stands there for a second, watching his ex-boyfriends frantic attempts to calm his brother. It's moments like this, these are the only times they even remotely work any more. It sucks.  
  
He launches himself forward, wraps his arms around Daniel and partly around Finn too, because he has no choice. All three of them sink to the ground, his not so little brother sobbing in their hold. He locks eyes with Finn and a realisation comes to him.  
  
This might be goodbye for them, but for Daniel, it's not. It can't be. He's lost too much, he can't lose his parental figure again. His **friend** again. Finn nods as if he gets this and strokes Daniel's hair, soothing him until the wind dies down.   
  
Sean thanks whatever powers that be, that his brother has gained some control these last few years and leans in to hold his brother tighter.   
  
“I'm sorry enano. I'm fucking sorry. But we can't...” Sean's voice cracks and he gives up trying to speak.  
  
“We can't keep doing this sweetie. One of us is gonna break and I don't ever wanna do that to either of ya. I gotta go little man.”  
  
Daniel sniffles. “D-Don't call me that,” he hisses. He still leans into Finn all the same.  
  
“It's gonna be OK enano. Finn isn't... He's not gonna leave you. We just won't be... together any more. He's not leaving forever. Right?”  
  
Finn shakes his head, squeezes them both slightly and sighs. “I'm still gonna be here. It just means me and Seanie boy over there, won't be fighting like cat and dog all the time. Ya don't want that now do ya? I know ya hate when we do that in front of you.”  
  
“But you stopped.” Daniel looks at Sean, heart shattering, brown eyes pleading desperately for this to be some sort of twisted joke.   
  
“We stopped doing it in front of you Daniel, not stopped it for good. We... **This** , me and Finn, it hasn't worked in so long. I don't remember the last time we had a genuine nice moment. We just don't feel the same now and I tried, we both tried, but we can't fucking fix it.”

He brushes the slightly too long hair off his brothers forehead, feeling sick all over again when he breaks down and starts crying too.   
  
“Hey come on sweetie. Now you can play us off against each other and not have to worry about upsetting the relationship. It's a win win for ya from now on.”  
  
“Finn!” Sean can feel the usual irritation rising again as his head snaps up to meet Finn's gaze. Most of it actually fades away at the sad attempt at a smile on his lips though. This is so fucked up, he really can't take much more of it.  
  
“Just kidding.” He releases Daniel, steps back and moves to grab his bag, still stuffing items into it while he steps back into the hallway and towards the front door. “I'm gonna miss ya. Even you Sean. Gonna miss your grumpy ass so much.”  
  
Daniel stumbles out of his hold and throws himself at Finn again with a cry. Sean finds himself surprised by the fact that even when annoyed with Finn, it's still hard not to do the same. It's so hard not to just seek out a hug for the simple semblance of normality the action would bring.  
  
“Yeah... Gonna miss you too. Just... don't disappear alright? I... Daniel needs to know where you are.”

If he notices the slip up and Sean knows that he did, Finn doesn't bring it up. Simply grins, never able to stay serious for too long. Something else that he remembers he used to love, but finds a major annoyance with now.   
  
“Don't worry sweetie, we'll be at each other's throats again before ya know it. This is my home now too, not going too far.” Finn disentangles himself from Daniel's hold, kisses the top of his head and pulls the door open.  
  
“Great. What a... t-thing to look f-forward to.” Even though the words out clipped and kind of harsh, Sean can feel the lump in his throat, the leaden feeling in his heart. He knows Finn can easily hear the way he stumbles over the words.   
  
Despite the way he gets pissed about the smallest and most stupid things, he still doesn't quite know how to say goodbye to Finn. It still burns, no matter how much he knows he wants this. Needs it.  
  
Finn flashes him a real grin, a wink just like the ones he used to when they were back at the camp. “This is what we both need sweetie. Don't be sad it's ending, just be glad we got to know what it felt like.”  
  
The tears fall thick and fast at that. He understands that and he feels better hearing it, but his body can't seem to quite grasp that this needs to happen before things really shatter between them. Before one or both of them says or does something they'll really regret.  
  
“I am. It's just... not the fucking ending I thought we were... g-gonna have.”  
  
“Sean...” Daniel wraps himself around him and he curls his arms around his brother. He holds him tight, feels the way his brother shakes himself apart with the knowledge that Finn will no longer be a part of their lives. At least not in the same way.  
  
Finn cocks his head to the side, leans down and presses the softest of kisses to his own forehead this time and then pulls back with a strange look on his face. “You're gonna be happy again sweetie. You will and we'll both be better off without all this shit dragging us down.”

Sean nods, because yeah it's the truth. Doesn't really make it ache any less though. Doesn't stop it feeling weird, wrong and yet right, completely necessary, all at once.   
  
“Bye Finn.”  
  
Finn stops at the door, half way out of it and turns to look at him one last time. Sean's not sure whether to burn that memory into his mind or let it float off with the breeze, the same way Finn walks out of his life. At least for now.   
  
“Bye... Sean.”

Then he's gone. There's nothing left in the house except the memory of a love once cherished and now lost and the sobbing of his hurting brother wrapped up in his arms.   
  
They both collapse to the ground and break apart. Their tears clear their minds and bodies, like the rain washing the world clean after a storm.   
  
And if he cries again, silently, while his brother curls up in the spot where Finn used to lay, it's fine. All the stress, the anger, the aching torture is already starting to slowly seep away.   
  
It hurts like hell, but the relief he feels is far stronger than anything else. He'll learn to live again now that it's done, instead of just existing.   
  
The good memories will make him smile and the bad ones will just remind him of a life and a love he once held dear. A relationship that, even now, he'll never fully regret. One he'll never forget, no matter how close or far away Finn may go.

He's good with all of that. So he simply curls around Daniel and for the first time in a long time, sleeps without that sick, restless feeling over taking him.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Even the best sandcastles eventually collapse. Nothing lasts forever...


End file.
